Monday, October 23, 2017

Look what you made me do

I've been thinking a lot about how women interact with each other and how we could all be kinder.

It's safe to say that the idea of "women are catty" transcends race, religion and age. That's so sad. It's nothing new, you can crack open a bible and find evidences of women being horrible to each other. It's always been around, and it's easy for contention to arise among women. This is, after all, a mortal world.  However, I have felt a shift in the ideology of women being mean to one another.  In this day and age mainstream culture, at least here in the USA, applauds women trying tear each other down. What? 

Through time it was probably accepted that women wouldn't see eye to eye and do crummy things to one another. But it wasn't applauded, it was kind of shameful actually. I'm going to use Downton Abbey as an example here (don't judge me), Mary and Edith were always fighting, but there was no one validating their retaliations or applauding them for "clapping back". In fact, most of the times, their acts of jealousy and spitefulness were met with a disappointed look. (Branson I'm looking at you) 


When did Branson become wise? When did he become everyone's best man at a wedding?

Thankfully at the end of the show we see that Mary and Edith put their differences aside, and decided to forgive each other. Edith tells Mary "Eventually you and I will be the only one's who remember Sybil" she goes on to say that at some point in the future they will be all that's left of Downton Abbey. It was a very touching scene (and so well acted). The show ends with them being friends, so much so that Mary wants to keep her pregnancy a secret so as to to not steal any attention from Edith on her wedding day. (good for you Mary) 

Forgiveness, it seems, is not something todays world is trying to push on us. In fact, it's the total opposite. Holding grudges, gossiping "tea spilling", and pettiness are all things the world encourages and even applauds. 

If you know me, it won't come as a surprise to you that I'm not a huge fan of Taylor Swift. I used to be, a lot. Our Song was my jam in high school. Her tales on unrequited love and having big dreams were relatable and made me lover her. However, somewhere in her music there was a shift in which she used her songs to "get back" at people for wronging her. At first I thought to myself "_______ (insert whatever mans name she's singing about) must be a pig" "poor Taylor"  but after the fourth or firth song I felt like it was probably time for her to move away from that narrative.  I went from being a fan to indifferent.  When she came out with bad blood I actually started disliking her. A self proclaimed feminist using her platform as an artist to humiliate and shame another female artist. Not groovy Taylor, not groovy. 

Her song Bad Blood was immensely successful and it became the anthem of women everywhere who had been burned by another woman. Her music video depicted her and her "squad" gearing up to go into battle against another woman. Nice. The other woman being Katy Perry, who Bad Blood was written about.  Fans of Taylor and Katy immediately pledge their allegiance to one or the other announcing their dislike of the other.  


Later Kim Kardashian would enter the narrative with Taylor and Katy. Followed by Nicki Minaj, the list goes on and on. One woman would do something to the other and everyone would celebrate (myself included). 

After a series of "clapbacks" and "tea spillage" the world turned it's eyes to Taylor and waited to see how she would musically retaliate. Finally, Look What You Made Me Do debuted.  Here are some of the lyrics. 

I don't like your kingdom keys
They once belonged to me
You ask me for a place to sleep
Locked me out and threw a feast (what?)
The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama
But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma
And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure
Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours

DRAMA. I actually really like the song, it's so catchy. It feels like she shed her "i'm always victim" narrative a little and owned up to some of her actions ("maybe I got mine"). Fans everywhere proclaimed her "Queen of Petty". She released the video at the VMA's where Katy was hosting (of course) and in the video she dresses up as a trashy version of Kim Kardashian getting "receipts to edit a video later". Katy Perry claimed her to be the true Mean Girl of Hollywood. But, not so fast Katy. 

Katy Perry came out with a song called Swish Swish ft. Nicki Minaj. A diss track written about Taylor Swift. Here's some of the lyrics from her song. 

A tiger
Don't lose no sleep
Don't need opinions
From a shellfish or a sheep
Don't you come for me
No, not today
You're calculated
I got your number
'Cause you're a joker
And I'm a courtside killer queen
And you will kiss the ring
You best believe

The song (and the video) isn't her best work. The beat isn't even good (Katy you used to be fun on Friday) . Nicki Minaj's part of the song is well, her lyrics....

Swish, swish, aww, my haters is obsessed
'Cause I make M's, they get much less
Don't be tryna double back
I already despise you
All that fake love you showin'
Couldn't even disguise you

All these songs speak of unforgiving hatred. I'm not sure when this attitude became the "cool" thing to do (oh my gosh I sound so old).  But it's not. Women everywhere need to sit down, relax and realize that life is hard. For everyone. I've had my turns being the mean girl and being the "victim" and while I don't have all the answers I've learned that all these feuds stem from insecurities and misunderstandings. All parties feel like the victim. So with that in mind, be kind. It goes a long ways and nothing feels better than a clean conscience. So there you have it ladies, a whole blog post on my opinions nobody asked for... look what you made me do!

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