Sunday, December 31, 2017

Happy New Year!

Happy -almost- New Year! 2017 was a wonderful year! We started off the year with Disneyland, ended the year in Utah and in the middle of it all we had Charlitos. Magic. That's not to say that we didn't have our downs in 2017... it's been rough. However on a whole 2017 was splendid. 2018 snuck up on me, I completely forgot it was New Years Eve until I was asking a Pasteleria to make Danny's Birthday cake. She said I wouldn't be able to pick up the cake tomorrow on account of it being New Years. Mind blown. 

While 2017 was great I still of course like to take part in the cliched act of setting New Years Resolutions... HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

This Year, I'd like to...

1. Live Gratefully
2. Be more mindful of Wyatt
3. Embrace this season of my life 
4. More personal prayer 

Welcome 2018! So glad you came to join our party! 

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

What we love about Charlie at 5/6 months!

Picture taken the dec 15. PS that's wyatts old onesie

pictures taken dec. 16. ha 


OH charlie, we love you so much. You are the most loving, sweet baby. Thank you for your sweet spirit and all the love you have to give.

*He loves to suck on his hand.
*starting to eat solids and loving it
*loves watching Danny and Sammy play
*loves his mama and his Daddy
*honestly he just loves everything
*ppl everywhere stop and stare at him because he is so happy.

I feel like my little family is already growing up. makes me kind of sad actually! There was a few weeks when we got back from UT where they loved watching Boss Baby and I miss that. It's such a cute movie and the music from it always seemed fitting. Especially "What the world needs now", I'd look around at my babies and think "All you need is love!". Cuties.

Better still there was a night where Sammy and Danny were randomly awake and I decided to buy the movie Robin Hood. We watched it together at around 2 a.m. It is such a neat memory. I was surprised that they actually sat through it all. Robin Hood became the favorite movie. Sadly they've already moved on from that. Also Sammy went from sayign "ah" (think the noise you make after taking a sip of a carbonated beverage) to (uh hu). Kind of sad about it but Happy he's learning!

My Charlitos is getting so big it makes me happy and sad!

Time you truly are a thief,



Monday, December 18, 2017

Today has been a rough one here. Wyatt's canker soars have him all sorts of miserable, Danny has canker soars AND he had a fever. As if we weren't already drowning I got a migraine. In case you aren't in the loop about migraines, they are incapacitating. I would rather give birth ten times over than have migraine. I'm afraid of them. I was trying to get dinner together for someone moving to another house when I noticed I couldn't see my right hand and panic swooped in. I started crying uncontrollably and bracing myself for the pain. Sounds dramatic, but I have never had a worse pain then a migraine. I live in fear of them. 

Luckliy Wyatt was home and took over the kids AND delivering dinner to the family. I felt so bad for him, struggling to take care of the kids knowing that his mouth was in so much pain. Charlie was sleeping for the majority of my migraine so that saved us. 

This migraine was different than the rest I've had. Maybe it was because it hit as it was starting to get dark so I didn't have to worry about bright lights, maybe taking excedrin early on helped, or maybe it just wasn't as severe. So long as I stayed in the room, in complete darkness my pain was manageable. If I saw even a crack of light my head felt like it was being attacked by a brick. It kind of spooked me actually.  It was like putting your hand into a fire and not being burned, but if you move your hand slightly to one side or the other you would be. 

Sometimes if I closed my eyes the room would spin and it would intensify the strong nausea I already felt. So i had to keep my eyes open for most of the time I sat there. That was weird. When was the last time you sat in a dark room, awake, without your phone or television or anything? The electronics weren't missed. I felt a sense of peace, it was kind of nice actually. Yes my head hurt but it was nothing like the migraines I've had before. I was so much more aware of myself, it was a new feeling. 

Charlie woke up and I kept him with me in the room for a while until he had enough of being trapped in the dark. So I sent him outside to Wyatt and Danny came inside the room with me. He laid down on the bed facing me and we held hands. He said he wasn't feeling well and wanted to lie down in the dark too. I was shocked when he genuinely enjoyed laying in the dark in silence. Without the distractions of everyday life I was able to truly bask in the moment with Danny. He is special. He is wonderful on so many levels. When I finally broke the silence we shared a long conversation. Without being able to see each other it was almost as if we could communicate more clearly. I'll hold this little time close to my heart. At one point he discussed how sad he was that Charlie was getting so big because he was growing so fast. Another time he expressed the difficulties of having two babies and not just one. I talked to him as an adult (choosing words/phrases that would make sense to him) I was surprised to see that he understood clearly everything I was saying and the sentiments behind them at times saying "that makes sense". We had a deep conversation which hasn't happened before. Without being able to see each others faces was almost like removing the huge age gap and for a moment felt like I was in the presence of adult Danny. His ideas, his opinions. There was something very much alive humming between us, the meeting of two souls. A bond between mother and child. What a sacred bond that is, I'm so honored to be his mother. I laid there in awe listening to what he had to say and since there were no other babies around demanding my attention (or places to go or things to get done, literally the only thing I was able to do in that comment was lay down in a dark room)  I was able to sit there and let him work through what he was trying to say or emotions he was trying to communicate. I am almost grateful I had this migraine. It forced me to sit in a quiet dark room for a few hours and listen to my spirit, listen to my son free of distractions and discover what an amazing kid he is. Someday he'll be an incredible man, I just know it. I'm so lucky to call him mine, he is such a wonderful considerate son. I wish I had time everyday to sit with him for an hour or so and just listen to him. Without anyone needing my attention. Or anything, no laundry, no dishes. I couldn't do anything. I tried leaving the room to help Wyatt out and I raced back to the room with my head pounding and crying. 

The quiet time I spent in the dark room was interesting. There's a movie called Your Name and in one part of the movie the main characters cross over into the "hear after" really it's a field on top of a mountain. The grandmother says "What lies before us is the hear after, anything can happen" and I know it sounds wild but I felt that exact same way. I was more self aware and the time I spent with Danny was as if time stood still. 

Wyatt was the real MVP of the night. He was barely speaking because his mouth was in so much pain. I felt so guilty and I felt sorry for him getting Sammy to bed and taking care of Charlie. He is more considerate of a husband than I could have ever hoped for. He is so hands on and steps up to the plate whenever he is needed. He's extremely hands on and today he was my hero. He is a fantastic husband and father. the best. 

This experience made me want to step away from electronics. Maybe bring more of the peace I felt trapped in my dark room to my home in general. 

I survived another migraine, with the Lord's help I was not left alone to battle my incapacitating headache and my kids. Wyatt was here. The Lord always looks out for his own. He's got your back. 

PS. Today was Danny's last day at Sossaman. It's the end of that little chapter in our lives. I will forever be grateful for everything they did for Danny there. All the love he received. It was a blessing. Time to move on to a class that will challenge him. 

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Pic taken by Danny

Went to see the temple lights today! It was kind of a train wreck... BUT I'm trying to make traditions with the kids ya feel? Danny didn't exactly love it... but I hope he enjoyed it at least a little. I love you Danny bug! I'm sorry you've had a bad day!

Saturday, December 16, 2017

All my widlest "Fancy Time" dreams came true when I threw a "Cheers to 2017" party! It was a celebratory goodbye to 2017! What a wonderful year! Started off in Disneyland, gave birth to Charlie and ended it off in Utah having a blast with our family. There were hard times too, but when I look back I think I'll only remember how incredibly blessed I am.
In case you hadn't known about my obsession with my fancy time ritual let me explain it to you. 
Back when Wyatt was doing his rotations out of state Danny and I were flying solo. I thought it was so hard to single parent. During that time on one of my trips to Trader Joes they were giving samples  of cheese with peaches and my life was forever changed! 
That night I "celebrated" making it a few weeks sans Wyatt and my life was forever changed. From that night forward I would celebrate making it to bedtime .
I guess in a way "Fancy Time" made me feel fancy when I wasn't. I was tired and probably had food on my shirt from Danny or something. But for a few minutes at the end of everyday I got to be "fancy".  
I have continued this tradition in my life and was excited to bring it to the next level! Thank you to everyone who came. I appreciate it so much. I couldn't have done it without you guys! Maddison really helped too, seriously wouldn't have come together without her. 
Last but not least Wyatt. Thank you for letting me host girls nights and other fun things with friends. You were forged in the fires of Mount Awesome and will forever be "my precious" haha! 

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Samuel's Second Birthday

Sammy I love you so much my heart could burst! I can't believe I've had two thrilling years with you! 

With all my love,


After everyone had left. Maddison and I were cleaning up the party on our own. It was a nice night and Sammy wanted to swing on the baby swing with his firefighter hat on. He looked so happy. So content to be swinging on his swing at night. I hope I never forget the mental image of my 2 year old sammy content on his baby swing.