Tuesday, April 26, 2016

The humans are dead

I thought I'd do a small post about current affairs so that someday when I'm really old my kids can read about what was going on when I was in my twenties. (Like they'll care)

It's that time of the decade again where we vote for a new president. This round of potentials are especially interesting:

DONALD TRUMP: Uh, when did this happen? How did it happen? When he first joined the race everyone thought it was a joke, fast forward a year and aint nobody laughing. He's loud, outspoken, and a little bit of a bully oh and especially racist. (thumbs up emoji here). However, there are a few things I have to give him props for. Number one, the guy is paying for his own presidential campaign. No joke, he's stupid rich and he's not relying on anyones money to fund him which is pretty cool. Number two, he says what's on his mind and he don't give a sh**. I've always wished I could be the type of person that could say what I want when I want without worrying about what people are going to say. He is the living embodiment of that. He's a go getter, he doesn't let anyone push him around, which maybe the USA needs? 

Then again, It's Trump. 

(In which I am Willow and Donald Trump is the man on the horse)

I feel as though if I met him in real life he'd think I'm a waste of space, and probably a drug dealer ;).If I sat down to nurse Sammy next to him he'd probably tell me I'm disgusting. *shrugs shoulders*


HILLARY CLINTON: Unlike Trump, her running didn't surprise anyone. She's been in the white house for a while and I think everyone suspected she'd be running someday. Hillary Clinton is kind of a bad a**. Her husband cheated on her while he was the president. Talk about public shame, poor thing. I would have shrunk back into a social media abyss never to live on the grid again. This lady though, she's freaking running for president. There is something romantic in the notion of not only having a woman for president but also a woman who's husband created a large scale scandal. The feminist in me wants Hillary Clinton to win. Plus she's the only one with white house experience. 

Then again, it's Hillary. 

No but all joking aside

While I'm not sure how accurate of a portrayal House of Cards is I have the lurking suspicion she's got some dark secrets. She seems like the kind of lady who would call me fat behind my back. If I sat down to nurse next to her I'd expect a type of Regina George kindness, maybe even roll her eyes at me.  Then again maybe she wouldn't. Maybe she'd be 100% supportive of me, being a feminist maybe she'd fight tooth and nail for my right to nurse whenever wherever I want. Who knows! Chances of me sitting down next to her to nurse Sammy are slim to none.

(Wyatt wanted me to add this video to the post, but it's inappropriate. click at your own risk)

dude check out young Hillary Clinton, she was a total babe. 


BERNIE SANDERS: I knew nothing of Bernie Sanders before he ran for president. From what I understand he was a bit of a hippie back in his younger days. Other than that I know that there's no dirt on him, he seems to be transparent and very kind. 

All this being said, he's so old! Also, odds of him winning the democratic nomination aren't looking good. I actually don't have to wonder what Bernie would do if I sat down next to him and nursed Sammy. He would be totally chill with it. Here is the evidence. #boobsforbernie

All this being said I can't say that I know for certain who would be best... PSYCH I totally do...

No but seriously I have no idea. The only  thing I am certain about is what a blessing it is to live in the USA. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Con todo mi cariƱo,


PS. Maybe Ted Cruz should win so I could buy this shirt. 
PS. Todays post title was brought to you by Flight of the Conchords. I was watching this episode when I started writing this post. That show is so freaking funny.

Here's the full song.

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