Tuesday, February 23, 2016

I aint ever seen no gator get punk'd by a mongoose!


Today was a really good day. Monday's usually are, I actually really enjoy them. A lovely friend of mine once told me she loved them. I couldn't fathom why, she explained that she felt like it was a clean start, a new slate. Over the past few months I've come to view Mondays that same way. 
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my goals in life and ultimately what kind of person I want to shape up to be. I usually soul search every two years or so. I'm past due! After considering how limited on time I am I have decided that first and foremost my priority is being a mom. I know that sounds so cliche. But hear me out. I am so tight on time it's wild. I USED to think I was tight on time, pre marriage, pre baby, pre second baby. But holy heavens is time tight now! I have two babies and honestly I'm treading water here! Not much else gets done but taking care of them.  That being said, I've realized that at the end of the night, when I close my eyes to go to bed, if I have any regrets it's that I didn't play astronauts with Danny or I didn't snuggle Sammy as much as I would have liked to. Because of this I decided to first and foremost to put being a doting mom in front of all else. The dictionary defines "doting" as "extremely and uncritically fond of someone; adoring". That sounds nice. I want to be the mom who plays with her kids. Maybe I look like a mess and my kid has dirt on his hands and syrup smeared across his face but boy is he happy!
 The above picture is so me. I usually always have chipped finger nail polish and my hair is a mess. I wasn't posing in this picture. My friend and neighbor Kara snapped this picture while I was admiring my son. I think i'll look back on this picture and hold it dear to my heart. 

I've thought a lot about why this blog is public. I've thought a lot about making this private and deleting my Instagram account as well. It's funny, I decided this last August that I would grow a public Instagram account and open up my blog for the public (all while taking a Real Estate course! Because, why not?). In about six weeks I grew to about 2000+ followers and received about 1000 page views per month. I'd say thats pretty good. but I don't exactly have anything to compare it to. Does it matter? I feel like it was a success. I collaborated with a few shops/companies and it was awesome! Surprisingly,  After a few months it lost it's appeal, I guess you could say I got burnt out. I wanted to share less and less with people and keep more things private. The irony is strong with this one. 

So what to do? 

I'm torn, truthfully. Running a blog and growing an Instagram isn't just putting pictures out there for people to see. It's sharing part of yourself. It's networking ( A LOT of networking) while I was pregnant with Sammy I had the hardest time sleeping, when I was up at night I thought "why not grow an Instagram?" which I did. But now, I sleep at night! (Sammy is a champion!) I don't have even half the amount of time I had to network and branch out. I want to soak in these childhood years with my babies. Someday when I'm old and fabulous I want to turn to Wyatt and say "I'm glad I didn't miss a second". I only have Danny home with me for two more years! TWO! that will fly by. Then he's out in the world, without me. He will go to school and I won't get to see all of his smiles or be there to comfort him when he's hurt. I live in this little bubble with my babies. I get to shield them and love them, and ultimately decide what they hear and see. I want to make it the warmest funnest bubble ever! that sounds SO weird, it's late don't judge. 

On the other hand, I was at Women's conference on Saturday and the first talk really resonated with me. She spoke about how the world needs men and women who will stand up for what's not necessarily popular, but what is important and right. Sleepless nights with babies and spit up covered clothing are far from popular and I know there are millions of mom blogs out there. Mine is different. Because it is me. My voice, my personality, my experiences and my thoughts. (Besides, do you know of anyone else who has these awesome post titles? no? I thought so). So I'll keep it public, for now. I just ultimately won't be spending much time trying to do anything but document my family. 

If you're reading this, you should do the same. Document your family, keep their memories alive in your words and photos. Your family doesn't have to have a mom a dad and babies. I know there are families that have one mom or one dad or grandparents. Maybe you don't have kids yet, maybe you have a dog, maybe you aren't married. But whatever the case may be, life is truly a gift from God and it's our responsibility to use that gift to shower those we love with affection. 

I think i've said my peace. 

xoxo,
Cindy

PS. Post title brought to you by Snoop! Well Jimmy Kimmel, if were being technical.


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