Tuesday, March 3, 2015

I think Zumba's making me a lesbian...

Happy free pancake day! Danny and I got free pancakes at IHOP and he was surprisingly really well behaved. Thank you Daniel.

So remember my post about not being old enough to buy a car? ya I think I'm ready. it dawned on me that yes, phoenix seems to good to be true and almost like I don't deserve it. but YES I do! It's been a tough six/nine months! Seriously May-November Wyatt was gone, then I was stuck at home for two months with my awful ear problem (which I totally think is made worse when I hang around home all day. it makes it much worse. It's been a bummer couple of months, so yes I deserve this. I deserve nice things. I freaking sacrificed for this. jeez.

Lately I've been feeling like I look beyond frumpy. It's been a huge downer, it's either the pregnancy or I just look terrible. It makes me sad to think I don't look pretty and skinny like the ASOS pregnant models or you know other pregnant unicorns. Though yesterday at zumba I  had a moment of clarity. I kept looking around and noticing that the women around me were very sexy. Let me be clear, they weren't young twenty year olds with magazine bodies. More like forty year olds who knew how to get down.  I'm not even joking, not even a little bit! Anyways, I realized. The true Bad-a**** don't have to have stretch mark free stomachs or perfect slim figures. They are comfortable in their skin and are happy!  Here in CT I'd consider myself a solid 5/10. When I get to AZ I'll be like a 3/10 in those wards. I'm imagining Lindon pool all over again. have you been to that place? All these young beautiful moms looking fly with small bikinis. I realized if I can't be happy with the way I look here in CT AZ is going to eat me alive. However, people keep telling me the area we'll be living in is nice and new! (please give me something new!) and it has kneaders DUH.  and cafe rio DUR. But everyone says it's straight up Utah and, well, Utah and i have a love hate relationship.

Another thing I was thinking about is why on earth am I being such a sissy? I felt much MUCH better after working out yesterday. I'm all worried about what I can't do. But HULLO I can probably do everything I was doing before. I never used heavy weights, always stuck with 10 at the very most 12. Mainly 8 these days. Jeez. You'd think I was dying "omgosh what will I do to work out?" uh dur the same things you did before. I even read that Abs are safe and GOOD for you to do during pregnancy. That was from WEBMD so pretty legit! I think I'll be fine... I need headphones though, nothings more unpleasant than running/biking next to a stranger with heavy breathing. *shudder* I gotta get to the gym early though. I can't do this whole after Wyatt gets back to work crap. I spend all day in a bad mood with awful ears, and lazy.

Did I mention how much I deserve another car? no? okay let me expound. So Sundays Wyatt has to work. He says it's every other sunday but honestly it feels like every. single. sunday. Maybe because they keep canceling church. So i have to constantly find rides home and while I always find someone more than happy to do it, it's a little embarrassing. I seriously would not be complaining a bit if I had my own way of getting home, but I don't, I'm at the mercy of really nice people.  I'm not the only person who hates asking for rides home. scouts honor, everyone does.

Danny kicked me all night long, and my ears were on the fritz! I don't get it, I went nearly two weeks with awesome ears and now they've gone to crap. It's because I don't have a car and can't workout in the morning. and I ate that da** fettucini alfredo. TWICE. They were ringing all night, that and I was cramping. I thought death was imenent. Seriously, what's up with these cramps? I did manage to sleep for a while and had interesting lesbian dreams. Which isn't really surprising because I had lesbian dreams while I was pregnant with Danny. They were pleasant, unsettling, but pleasant.

Speaking of weird. I'm not really feeling Joseph anymore (my top choice baby name)... weird right? I was so dead set on it. Maybe it's a girl? Joseph just doesn't seem right. When I was pregnant with Danny I was confident with the name Daniel from beginning to end.(Wyatt would argue that this is in fact a dirty lie)  But with this one, Joseph just isn't fitting right. I'm not sure why, maybe Joseph will come one or two babies later?  Whatever the reason is, I just really really don't think the baby I'm caring is a a "Joseph" It's not settling with me right. I keep rolling it around my mind and it's just not right. "Joey Anthony" is an adorable name but for some reason it's not holding the same feelings it did. Not that I don't want to name a baby Joey, I really REALLY do. But this baby doesn't feel like a  joseph... idk. :|
I'm not sure it feels like a Sofia either. though that feels a little bit better. Maybe it's a girl.

Mikey is feeling right though. funny, maybe I'm partial to the name Mikey? Michael Eric Anthony. Michael Everet Anthony. hmm I like the latter one the best. Look at the two name written

Michael Everet Anthony "Mikey"

Joseph Everet Anthony "Joey"

Both fantastic names, but I'm really feeling Michael over the Joseph. *shrugs shoulders* maybe I just need to see the baby. Might even  be a girl! I still feel good about the name Sofia!

okay, that's it.


PS. post title was from my thoughts during zumba. They keep making us "pair up" and for some reason I'm always the man... I charm my dance partners with jokes and great dance moves. I actually have multiple women wanting to be my partner.... so yup, I'm slowly morphing into the man half in a lesbian relationship. Luckily I'm already pregnant so we don't have to find a sperm donor. Soon we'll be a happy lesbian mixed race family.

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