Sunday, March 1, 2015

I should have bought a tampon not a pregnancy test

Are you tired? I'm exhausted. I feel like crap I have no idea why... maybe I'm getting sick or something? idk. nonetheless this week has been pretty wonderful as of late. I wish I blogged more frequently this past week. It would make keeping up with current events easier. I think I should try to blog at least once a day. it's just tough to find the times sometimes. That and I'm a total slob and lazy person these days. Which i'd like to change. I mean I was thinking about it the other day and I was thinking about who someday I'll get old fat and wrinkly and wonder what I did with my beauty. I dressed like a slob and didn't shower. Or maybe you just need to dress nicer and shower when you get older. btw speaking of older did I mention I'm pregnant? no? oh yes, I'm pregnant!

So here's how it went. Wyatt and I went to PHANTOM OF THE OPERA on Saturday. nbd! Baouyen and Jake took care of Danny so we could go fulfill one of my lifelong dreams. No, I'm being completely serious. It has been a dream of mine since I was 13 years old! I remember the day, the last day of the 8th grade. A friend gave me the Phantom of the Opera CD'S  I rushed home and played them on my super cool CD player (considering our iPods and iPhones the thing was ancient) I laid on my bed and listened to it, all two hours of it. I cried and cried and cried when it ended. From then on out the songs in that musical would haunt and annoy all the members of my family.  Long car rides to St. George were filled with my CD's, It's only until the movie came out that I realized there was a track with the song "Music of the Night".  Speaking of that movie it came out on Christmas day and all my family went to watch it together, it was pretty special. Though, if I recall i had to for everyone's tickets out of my christmas money, sheesh. ANYWAYS long story short I've been waiting for this my whole life.

Watching it was beyond real. What struck me the most about the experience is that the whole thing seemed so attainable. The stage was actually a lot smaller than I expected it to be, it felt like I could maybe reach out and touch it. It felt like just anyone could walk in and watch the show for almost nothing (not a ridiculous 100$! Though, it was worth every penny!) The actors seemed like ordinary people yet they have all long been part of my dreams. It felt like, hmm, I can do this. I can be a cast member. I then remembered  that these people are the best of the best. The cream that rose to the top of the milk. Out of hundreds upon hundreds of people who tried out, they were picked, and honestly they were absolutely fabulous. This was their life. Made me feel a little sad about my place in the world. But I suppose there needs to be a lot of ordinary people so that extra ordinary stand out. Also, it was done in the blink of an eye. literally! I waited forever to watch it and it was over just like that. Not captured on film so I could watch it over and over, but a magical moment I'll remember only in a memory. Like flowers in a garden, beautiful, but temporary. I loved when the Auctioneer said "Gentlemen!" and put the power cords together and they sparked! When the pit orchestra started playing the theme I honestly thought I would die from excitement (I actually cried). Another mental image I took was Piangi trying to climb up the elephant prop. Then of course, when Christine and the Phantom singing their song. Magical. I captured when they were going down the trap door then all of a sudden they were going down a ramp that seemed to hang from the top of the stage to the middle (body doubles?) I remember the way it looked when she looked back and he tugged her towards him. I remember the way the boat looked (Wyatt's favorite part) and the way the candles seemingly rose out of fog. I remember the way he sang Music of the night to her. Wyatt leaned over and mentioned how he looked more like a hypnotist at that point. That makes so much sense. I remember when the Phantom would run on the balcony of the top of the theater, at that point he really did seem attainable. When he made fire rise from the stage when he declared war on both raul and christine. Gold it was pure gold. It was possibly made even more exciting because literally minutes before watching this dream we bought a pregnancy test at walgreens and I went to the bathroom at the theater and took it! It said Positive! I was over the moon and I wanted to tell all the strangers in the bathroom. Though, it wasn't the ideal situation there was really only one other person in the bathroom. Though, honestly It's sad I didn't just tell everyone! I thnk I was most worried about people thinking I'm gross as I walked out of the bathroom with a positive pregnancy test.

But yes there you have it two incredible experiences in one day. The rest of the post might be a bit of a disappointment to you so you can stop here!

I got to go to the theater on wednesday as well! Margi paid for it and it was fun. There's something neat about live theater. enchanting. Knowing that the performers are giving you 100% and it's not just a filmed one time thing. I think I might like going to the theater more often. It's a nicer form of entertainment. Theater, ballet, orchestra concerts. Am I just getting older or am I just being refined? Not sure, maybe this happens to all that go through adulthood? *shrugs shoulders*.  We went to Shake Shack as well. gosh I love that place.

I'm so sick of looking at apartments, places to live. I just want to live in an apartment complex with nice things and also a three bedroom. Can you blame me? Ok maybe you can.I want it all. sue me. There's one house I'm going to look at while I'm out there but other than that I've just about given up. Yup, definitely pregnant. soooo unmotivated.

On that note, jeez I feel sooooo crappy. I feel like trash. My ankle is by far the worst pain of it. yesterday while I was running from the train to the car it clamped up and it hurt so bad I almost couldn't walk but whatever. Today it hurts really bad as well. WHY?!

I'm not sure I'm ready to turn my body over to pregnancy again. As in, watch it ballon beyond reasonably acceptable. I've also started to re-examine what it means to be "fashionable". For example, being pregnant is hard enough on an ego and then add "unfashionable" to it and it's even worse! But, I was looking at old pictures of celebrities and their fashion was on point at that time it looks beyond silly now. So maybe it doesn't matter as much?

Not sure

anyways, BYE

ps. Today's post title was brought to you by me when I was waiting in line at the bathroom to take my pregnancy test. I could have sworn I felt my period coming on

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