Tuesday, January 22, 2013

I can tell my contractions are getting more Oz

Take a look at the last picture I took prego. I'm pretty sure I was 40 wks and three days when we took this picture! Soo many things that I haven't blogged about, a period of 20 wks missing in the blog but well oh well, right? Those 20 wks were filled with seeing lots of friends, watching debates, swimming, or relaxing with wyatt Walking miles desperately trying to get this little guy out. Little did we know that he came exactly when he needed to come.
The week he was born Marco was in town because he was on leave and he wanted to be there to see Daniel! It didn't look like he was coming anytime soon so we were all kind of bummed out. We missed the 2012 mark ,which was also a little sad for us, but we were just excited to meet him.  Having so many people around and being out and about made it a fantastic week. I hadn't seen Marco in forever so I really liked that! Every morning Marco would say "Just go into labor already!!" I kept telling him that if I could I would. New years was nice, the Anthony's took everyone out to Tucanos to celebrate! Wyatt was working and couldn't be there :( oh the sacrifices of the money makers. 2012, What a year! Then that night  Wyatt came home he watched a movie with Marco, I watched Mirror Mirror with my dad upstairs. Wyatt and I went to the mall for their New years celebrations. It was a little bland but still fun, way more fun then sitting home!  It turned out that having

Danny in Jan. 2013 turned out to be the best possible outcome because I could be on Medicaid and therefore he was one Medicaid the momment he was born, for his entire first year! Wahoo! Anyways....

So on Jan 2 2013 ( Wednesday) i had a fetal nonstress test to check on our little bun. He was doing great and I had two contractions while I was laying there. But nothing too big happened. My fluid was low but that was about it. We had our Dr.s apointment and she kept saying how my water would totally break right? She also said she would be on call until friday at 7 am and that if I could go into labor between here and now she would be there to deliver my baby. We also set an induction date, which really frustrated me! I didn't want to be induced, it really stressed me out!
After the Drs apointment I was feeling really discouraged and I really wanted to go into labor before my induction date. sooo on the train ride home I decided to do the unspeakable. I borrowed Castor oil from Katelyn Bowen and took some before I ate my Cafe Rio. We took it home because we were all worried I would have horrible diarrhea after taking it :) Which never happened.
At around 10pm my brother brought home a pie from Village Inn asking if I wanted it, uhm yes. We then had a heart to heart for a while and we talked about life in general. it was nice. AFter that was done I took a hot bath and ate my pie. the charmed life.
I came to bed but got up again because my cramps hurt. I called the OB answering service and got some lady on call. {one of her partners}She said that I could try taking a bath and that if they didn't go away I could go to Labor and Delivery. I took another hot bath and then I told wyatt that I thought I might be in labor. He got really excited and started packing things in the car. I kept telling him not to get too excited because I wasn't exactly sure if I was in Labor. But my cramps were coming pretty strong so I decided to get ready and head out the door. Before leaving I woke up Marco and let him know I was going to the hospital and that If he would be willing I would call to let him know when to bring mom up. He said that was fine, then I left to the hospital!
I texted my doula Maryanne and tried calling her. She called me back and told me that she was actually sick and wouldn't be able to come but that she would send her intern Emily {which I wasn't too excited about}
The car ride over was probably the longest car ride of my life! The contractions were so intense!! There was no one on the road but us basically, Wyatt was pretty excited, and it seems like we were driving like crazy people but we weren't. We got to the hospital and we just left the car in the roundabout and went into Labor in Delivery. We checked in and we were put in a triage room. I remember there was a nurse there that I really wanted and she ended up being my nurse. She was really funny. She checked me, and she was horrible at checking!! it hurt so bad everytime she would check, she moved around a lot.  I was given  a robe and told to walk around. which sucked big time becuase i swear it would make the contractions worse. Eventually Emily showed up and even though she wasn't the ideal doula i was relived to see her. She kind of sucked as far as the massage therapy went but just her presence was comforting! She was there with me when we walked around and would hold on to my hips during contractions and she got me ice chips. Basically she did anything I asked her to, which was very nice of her. So even though the morning of jan 2 I was dialated to a 1 and 60% effaced and when I got checked {ouch!} at the hospital I was at a 3 and 80% effaced. When I got checked again I hadn't progressed. So sadly I got sent home, all I wanted was to take a hot bath! Instead of going home we went to a Hotel. I got a Morphine shot  {which I didn't even flinch when the nurse gave it to me!} Emily said she was going home to sleep and that she would come back whenever I called her. I swear it took us an hour to find our hotel!! I was like in and out of it, exhausted really. The morphine shot kicked in and made me oober sleepy. It definitely didn't stop the contractions but it slowed them down and I was able to sleep! I still remember walking into the hotel, it was such a surreal moment. I remember they were serving breakfast and everything looked soo good. I especially wanted a waffle but was too tired to eat it. However we did get some muffins for later. We got up to our room and it looked so nice. There was a king sized bed, a couch, tv and a really nice looking tub which I was excited about!  The bed I remember being so comfortable! The comforter on top was truly comforting! Soo nice. I didn't sleep very well and we only slept for about 3 hours. I woke up at around 8 am and spent the rest of the day in and out of the tub. Finally at around 2pm I text Maryann and told her I wanted some reinforcements, I also asked if she couldn't send Marin over. {She gave me my labor inducing massage and basically was amazing at it} to my surprise and happiness Marin was available!! First Emily showed up and helped me through some surges just sitting on the couch. {she also brought me and wyatt some snacks, thank heavens I was starving!}Wyatt then left to go find some food and find me a roxburry shake, which I requested specifically by name. He was more than happy to comply  I walked up and down the haflway with Emily for about 30 minutes when Marin showed up. Oh my gosh Marin was a sight for sore eyes! she set her things down and walked around the halls with us a little and also told me I could get in a hot jacuzzi! yippe! Wyatt came back and I ate a tiny bit of what he had gotten me and then threw the rest away. poor wyatt, he got four different smoothies because he wasn't sure which flavor i'd like best. None of them ended up being consumed.  I labored a little bit longer just around the room, Marin was amazing btw she really knew her stuff! Then I decided to get in the tub. The tub made it soo much easier to labor through. I remember Emily asking me some questions while I was laboring for her doula certifications and Marin adding hot water to the tub and swirling around, also she used some of her essential oils to help me cope with the pain. Wyatt took a nap on the couch, at Marins request. That hour of laboring on the bed was one of the best ones! i was so relaxed I was actually like half asleep the entire time. Then some stronger ones came and Marin suggested we go to the hospital. I was worried about going to the hospital because I didn't want to go and get sent home {I mean my contractions were super close together, Emily as my witness!} But Marin said she had a feeling we should go so I went. They wrapped me up in a blanket {which we stole from the hotel} and walked me out to Wyatt's car.  They drove in a another car. The car ride over to the hospital was hard. We hit a speed bump and I thought I was going to die! When we pulled into the pull through emily and marin were there to help me get out of the car. I had a surge as I was getting out of the car so they helped me through that. Then we walked to the Labor and Delivery unit, again. { Also it was crazy actually walking in and being in labor! Wyatt and I dreamed about this day for so long, when we would walk in there and it was actually happening!} We got checked in again and to our surprise and delight we were actually given a room! With a tub, yay! I don't remember much about getting settled in, I remember my iv hurt but not too bad.
When everything was squared away I was in a hurry to get in the tub. but to my dismay it had no hot water sooo I had to get out and labor without it. which was really discoureging. {btw my labor and delivery nurse cheri, was really sweet} I tried to labor as much as I could. I was on my hands and my knees at one point and wyatt was at my head sitting indian style. The doulas were rubbing my back and holding my hips. I remember crying, tons of tears, I distinctly remember them rolling down my cheek as I looked at wyatt and told him "I can't do this anymore! I can't do this for 6 or 7 hrs longer, I just can't! I'm too tired". I was exhausted, I kept telling Marin that I couldn't go on like this for 6 or 7 more hours, and she kept saying "well lets not, lets not do this for that much time". I had some pretty strong surges that I couldn't breath through, basically I just panicked through them! Then I decided to get the epidural because I wasn't progressing at all and it was really discouraging to me. I sort of felt like Emily and the nurse were telling me not to, Marin was on board for whatever I was on board for. it took the anesthesiologist all of 5 min to be there. I thought for sure I would crumble over the epidural but I hadled it like a champ. well. I remember Marin was holding my feet and wyatt was holding my hands. The weird popping sensation I felt as he was placing the epidural was the worst of it. Afterwards I was so tired I fell alseep for about an hour I remember this time being very difficult, emotionally, I felt defeated. Marin and Emily were great help they kept saying "You made a great informed decision", I think that's where I hit rock bottom with my labor. When the nurse came back to check me and I still hadn't dialated and I got really sad.
Anyways, so after my nap the nurse came to check me and since I still hadn't dilated she started Pitocin, which I wasn't too happy about. She said she would up it every 1 hr I didn't dilate. So then I felt like I was on a clock, pretty stressful. But I decided to try and relax and try out different labor positions. So we popped Pretty Woman in and I squatted through some of the movie I vaguely remember the part where she is shopping for clothing... but that's about it. Then I was on my hands and knees during part of howl's moving castle. I can't remember the movie but I do remember the music in it, very calming. I think I remember seeing the scene where sofi visits madam sulivan and there is a shot of the city. BTW the time I was awake during pretty woman was awesome, we were laughing and talking like normal people!
 I fell alseep again and when I woke up the nurse told me I was at a 10, fully effaced and ready to push! Oh my gosh I had waited SOO long for this moment! it was probably the climax of the birth! I called my brother told him it was time to bring my mom, I asked the nurse if I could wait a sec. before pushing so I could fix my hair and make up. Everything happened so quick! I even remember Marin saying "this is where everything speeds up!" or something to that affect. Another nurse came in {oh on a side note I had gotten another nurse, Sara, who was amazing, she would let me move around so much with my epidural, she helped me move around a lot and was very kind. } and they started warming up the warmer for the baby and other stuff. The time came for me to start trying to push. Which was crazy loco. I remember her saying she wanted to test how good of a pusher I was so I gave her some pushes when I felt some pressure and she told me to. She said I was fantastic. Then I really started to feel the pressure to push, that was crazy. Sara didn't even have to tell me when to push I would tell her "I need to push now!" and she would say, go ahead. So I would. It felt just like being constipated, really constipated. I felt everything! {besides the contractions, thank goodness :)} My mom showed up around this time.
Wyatt was holding one of my legs and I remember seeing th elook of horror on his face. That's when I knew I was really close. He freaked out saying he could see a tuft of hair and decided he didn't want to be holding my leg or watching for that matter... Everybody said "he has hair"! Then Sara told me I needed to refrain from pushing while Dr. Brown came in, I tried so hard to do little pushes, but boy was it hard. While she was putting her glove on and being super peppy. I told her " I NEED TO PUSH!!" so she said push away!  After that it was like 3 pushes and the pain was super intense! The rim of fire, I totally felt it! so real, the pressure the pain everything was so real and I felt his head come out, I remember this being a relief, then his shoulders and then he was out!!I had my eyes half closed. I remember seeing his slimy little body on my stomach {his cord wasn't long enough to make it to my chest, short cord} I mostly remember touching him for the first time. I think I touched his chest then his left arm. It felt out of this world. He was so slimy! I don't think he was really crying either. But boy I was, Wyatt cut the cord, when it stopped pulsing and took the baby away. They kept asking me if I wanted to hold him on my chest and I kept saying no, because I was exhausted and a hot mess. I tore a little, and since my epidural had run out the stitching was a terrible experience. Everybody kept telling me it was over and not to cry  I even snapped at my mom saying "I tore and it hurts!". I think I vaguely remember her crying, happy tears I believe. It was, after all, her birthday. pretty cute, huh? Share a birthday with your grandma. Finally I was willing and able to hold him and Wyatt gave me some kisses and you know all the gushy stuff :). I think the doulas got some pictures, which I'm excited to see. But there you have it. The story of how I brought Daniel into the world.  Still doesn't seem real!

The rest of the day was filled with trying to recover and family visits.


ps. I sent Maryann a text message while I was in the tub in the hotel, I was laboring through my contractions and I could tell I was tired wen I sent her "I need backup! I can tell me contractions are getting more Oz" :) I even remember thinking "oh you need to have a capitol O in Oz not a small letter! silly me ;)