Monday, August 29, 2011

Stinky Pinky

So as of lately I have had many "conclusiones"... I don't exactly know how good I will be at writting all my thoughts down but I will try.
I struggle SO much with my self esteem, mainly because I am a shadow of the overacheving, pretty, friendly girl I once was. It's hard for me to think about that and how I haven't done too well at that. It is hard to keep my chin up when I remember this, and I know that Wyatt is always telling me that I don't half to save the world to feel good about myself... which I have actually come to find out is necessary for my happiness... now I can't seem to understand why on earth i would go from being pretty cool to not being cool at all... basically. I just can't seem to find an excuse for that... So this thought has been eating away at me for quite some time... but I feel like I have finally awoken from this sad slumber of poor self image and self esteem. I mean FREAK God gave me SO much to work with, I mean if you look at my history I have been good at anything I have tried... so what's my excuse? Wyatt keeps telling me that I need to develop a better self-esteem... which I find extremely hard... I mean where do you get that?! It's not like it just grows on trees! But finally, today I believe, and a little bit of friday... I have come to realize I have nothing to complain about! I have truly a wonderful life! on Pinterest I read a quote that says "Don't let comparison ruin your happiness" how true that is, I should have that tattooed to the back of my eyelids. I have been feeling so jealous of some girls that I feel have been handed everything in life. But when I was blog stalking one of them I realized that this particular girl would probably be happy poor OR rich, because she is just so happy to be around! It was startling to me! I am lacking NOTHING in my life to be amazing... I should be just as happy (or sad I guess) as the richest man in the world (or woman... sorry I'm tired).
First off Wyatt is SO SUPPORTIVE, he's my number one fan! he wipes my tears away (he thinks their gross) :) and he has been feeding my self worth since before we got married, He bought me a prime rib dinner on friday! just cuz I had never tried it! Lets face it he is my sunshine when clouds are gray.
My mom is also extreemly supportive, she is an amazing friend and support)... she has always thought I could do anything I wanted to and I know that I can look to her for support.
Lastly, one fan I hardly ever acknowledge is the Lord. He really does try to give me things that make me happy and even though i haven't gotten to know him as well as I (or he) would like to, I still have faith in the quiet member of my fan club. I need to work on this relationship, because I am sure that when i unlock that friendship my possibilities truly are endless.... With his help you can do many things.... hmm interesting. Anyways...
I believe that this is the begining of a whole new Cindy. A cindy who isn't dependant on whether or not her las name is Almaraz or Anthony (I know it's been two years and I'm STILL adjusting) ... a new Cindy who is AWESOME, and not by the standards of anyone else but myself and my fan club. I met the famous Chelsei Todd the other day and yes in case you are wondering she IS as pretty as she looks in this picture below...
Yes, I know she is gorgeous! Now this girl was a Jazz Cheerleader AND a student at UCDH at the same time, impossible? I would think so... she is EXTREEMLY nice, down to earth and actually real. And even when you think she can't get anybetter, SHE CAN! She just got accepted in to Dental school... freakin DENTAL school! No big deal "I'm pretty, intelligent, kind, and REAL". after I met her I rubbed the stars out of my eyes, made a note to self to add her as a friend on facebook, and decideed that by the time I was her age (26? 27?) I wanted to be like her! I believe I can be... and I will.


ps. stinky pinky makes wyatt and I laugh nonstop, the first time I heard in on Youtube with Wyatt we about died...Wyatt, I love you

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