Saturday, May 28, 2011

They took our jerbs!

It has been a long time since I've bloged, lots of exciting fun things have happened since then... among them, getting a job!! I took there jerb! It also pays really well (well at least from what I've been getting paid throughout my life). You might be asking "Wow, Cindy you haven't blogged in SO long, what makes you want to blog now?!" Well in an answer to your question. I feel weird. I'm not sad, I'm not bothered, just a little unsatisfied... ya know? The family drama I have going on has kind of gotten to me. Which bothers me because I really have better things to be doing/ enjoying. I feel as though when things are going good, I always find a "not" silver lining, to ruin my day... a cloud! that's it I always find the littlest cloud and let it rain on my entire day! What's wrong with me?! Is today just an off day or something? I'm desperately worried that if I don't cut it out Wyatt will decide he doesn't want to hang with me anymore. Two times in the last days he said that when I'm worried about something I'm not as fun... but it's hard not to be worried, ya know!? I have that cold feeling in the inside of me that no amount of blankets can get rid of.
Example #1- I'm STARVING, but I refuse to eat! If I do eat it has to be something I REALLY want. i don't know what that's all about. I've always been the type of person that will eat whatever is handed to me. usually but lately I'm a total food snob. oodly enough I'm not hungry anymore.
Maybe I feel disconected from the world, lonely I guess. I tried reaching out to my brothers last night and that was dissapointing... are they avoiding me?

Maybe. I wish I had sisters sometimes, they are so much easier to connect to. {I just saw on TV that pretty little liars are coming out!}{that makes me really happy}. Okay, lets talk about what has been new.
First off, I got a job. I got a job working at Utah College of Dental Hygiene. They called me last friday at like 9 am. and wanted to interview me. I was really excited about this because I thought that I could maybe get an "in" and do my schooling there {Yes, Dental Hygiene rocks}. I had my interview on Monday morning at nine am. It went really well, so well in fact that they called me later that day and offered me the job. Pretty awesome huh!I started working the next day. My coworker is prideful, rude and she was extremely pushy. So needless to say the first couple of days were interesting. Lots of power issues. However, I found myself handling it pretty well. I wanted really bad to be an honest hardworking employee, and that's what I tried hard to be. I wanted to start off being a nice person, and I feel like I did an excellent job at it. Needless to say, a lot of akward moments later they ended up firing her {thank heavens... it would have been a mess when jeanine left} although I have to say that I was sad about it, and was worried that it might have been my fault. They hired a new girl and left me working at 35 hours per week. The new girl they hired is REALLY nice and sweet I think we will be great together!
I also got offered jobs at Central Utah Clinic and Mountainland Head start.


ps. quote brought to you by south park :)

Saturday, May 14, 2011

You know that one steak with the round thing in the middle? Yeah, that's the most expensive one, I always get that

I thought I should take a moment and blog about what I love most... Wyatt! Here are a couple reasons why I love him...

*He rolls with his elbows
*He used to send me text messages when I was sleeping telling me he loved me,cough cough hint hint
*He buys me flowers just because
* He says I'm pretty A LOT
* He encourages me to pursue my goals
*He makes me happy
*He's a fantastic lover
*He sings silly songs
*He gossips about people with me :)
*He likes the same TV shows I do...
*His lips are number one...

Those are just SOME of the reasons of why I love him ***

Sometimes I feel like our marriage is a fairytale, other times not so much. But as of late, our marriage has been so sweet I feel as though our first year was really rocky and now we are enjoying the fruits of our labor and they are sweeter than a million mellons!!

I'm worried sometimes our marriage will break sometimes... but mostly I learned that I REALLY need to enjoy our marriage in the NOW and hopefully things will be amazing and sweet!


PS. Our post title was brought to you by an anonymous brother of a friend :)

Friday, May 13, 2011

My high school reunion is coming up, I think I can still fit into my old sense of inferiority

Weell, my graduation pictures got here, and I am SUPER happy with them! I think they look great... however my diploma hasn't gotten here AND I still don't have a job. I am beginning to wonder if I am ever going to find one... it's a little sad to think about.

Lately I have been doing a lot of soul searching and I feel like I REALLY need to be happy with my simple glorious life. I feel like these past few weeks has been some type of apprentinship to know how to be completely happy with life! I have come a long way, I'm not saying I haven't. When I first got married I think I cried every night and I got into fights with Wyatt ALL the time.... and now we are actually happy together when we go to sleep and when we wake up in the morning... we actually cuddle! I have come such a long ways with my lack of happiness it's insane. However :( I still feel like I compare my life SO MUCH like just seeing a certain person who will be left unamed on facebook makes me cringe. Which brings me to another thing, when I see people on facebook, most people, It makes me cringe with some type of embarrassement or emotional pain. I'm not anywhere exotic, I'm not smart, overlly pretty, or employed. I feel like NOTHING so I feel like facebook only allows me to compare my life even more than I already do... on a brighter note I get to see Lupe tonight and Annika in a couple of days, really it gives me so much hope. ...



PS. our quote was brought to you by Conan O Brien :) fitting for how I am currently feeling.

Monday, May 2, 2011

You're future is as bright as your faith

I haven't exactly wanted to post everything that has been going on lately because it's a little pathetic. I did hear back from the job that I got an interview from, they said I was still under consideration. I was so dissapointed at that, I was really expecting to just get the phone call telling me I got the job! I have had a strange array of emotions as of late... I was never exactly excited to graduate from BYU, I feel scared about being thrust into the world!

I almost don't even know what to do with myself! I have been a little depressed at the thought of just working as a receptionist, after I got a freaking Degree from BYU, at that. However, it's funny that more and more people I run into have mediocre jobs after they graduate. I mean eventually they go on to do something amazing. I have been really searching for meaning in my life, for I can "contribute"-Wyatt thinks I'm silly for wanting to do that. He feels as though I should enjoy sitting at home not having any commitments. Truth is, nothing drives me crazier...I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. I am so incredibly stressed out about money, I'm worried my hair is going to fall out... or I'll get an ulcer...or more white hair. -All the mentioned are pretty good possibilities. I've done so many fun things as of late I feel like I haven't quite realized them because I have been so worried about monies and finding a job & not "living up to my potential".
I feel like I have been kind of a pain in the neck as of late. It seems as though nothing will make me happy, except finding a job and making money. However, I feel as though something should change.. be more like Chrissy walker! but I figure she struggles, but she is a pure joy to be around, she just radiates joy! She didn't do anything too fancy or important... But she's beautiful inside and out. I want to be more like that... I should try to reach out to her and spend more time with her... maybe it will rub off, If I'm lucky...
In other news, I graduated, I waited to what... I forgot what I was writing. We have done lots of fun things as of late thought such as...
*go to lunch with Wyatt’s parents in honor of my graduation, Dolce Vita was so yummy. THANK YOU
*Wyatt's parents got me a TV for graduation THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
*Go out to dinner twice, with my parents
*We went to olive garden today... with no money :)
* Ward, closing social
*Hang out with girls in the ward!
* Go to noodles and co. with the Van De Graffs & the Scolvilles
*oh BTW Osama is dead...
*Stay up late with Wyatt
* sleeping in.... reading...

Anywho that is some things that have gone on as of late... this next week we have a double planned with grant and wife and the ahlstroms. Yay I can't wait for our weekend!!

Anyways... not sure this post made any sense... but


ps. our post title, I believe, I was brought to you by President Monson