Thursday, January 20, 2011

Quero, look alive!

Whoa! It is burning up at the Anthony home. Last night we had an EPIC battle, I mean we were throwing clothes at each other  (okay so mostly I did the throwing of clothes) It was nuts! I mean it was CRAZY I look back on our fight and i wonder how none of us were physically injured!

I was reading my friend's Karen's blog. It seems like her marriage is way to good to be true but who knows maybe they are just that happy together... maybe? Anyways they both seem so happy together and it seems like they never fight! He always seems to be doing nice things for her and vice versa. I don't understand why my marriage can't be like that. I think were both poor married people, students and young. Whats missing?

So today I was doing some soul searching while doing my assignment for family law, and it hit me! I'm emotional abusive!!! Well, not always, but looking back at our fight I said and did some REALLY rude things! I feel horrible for saying those things to him, I'm almost besides myself at my surprisingly horrible behavior.... I don't get it... why do we fight so much?

Then I wondered, are my expectations too high? I quickly realized that they were! I was in the wrong, well I'm sure we both did things in the wrong, but really Wyatt has been doing a GREAT job of trying to be a good husband and i haven't really given him credit for all the amazing things he had been doing such as...

*Telling me I look nice EVERY DAY
*Making my lunch when I can't
*doing my laundry
*holding me when I cry
* cuddling me in the morning {which I love}
*asking me how I am doing {on a regular basis} and then actually intently listening
*working a weekend shift so we could pay for our bills...

How is it that i completely overlooked these things I keep expecting more and MORE out of him, it's like I never get my fill. I remembered an assignment that I had done in one of my classes about the miscommunication between Wyatt and wife. Like, when the husband offers the wife a gift {working so she can stay home} but she wants a different gift {help me with the kids, buy me flowers} both of them end up mad! I also read my assignment for my family law class on emotional abuse, and found to my horror that I am a monster! Without considering how mean or sharp my words can be to Wyatt. I also read a type of emotional abuse called "Trivilizing I guess that is when you make what the other person is doing for the relationship look like less than what it really is... I do that too. Whoa. I have SO much work to do it's kind of unbelievable. Hopefully I can get better at this whole MR. and MRS. thing. Because I have been married for a year and a half now and I am SO over being dramatic and it fights all the TIME I am going to see the bishop today, so maybe we can hack out some of the drama in our marriage so that Wyatt and i can actually be happy and enjoy our marriage. Cuz I'm done with the fights and my hair is falling out WAY too much... Hopefully here's to better times, I always thought that marriage would be like dating except with no limits... I still think it can be like that.We are planning on having at least 5 good years to ourselves, we have plenty of time to play, I think.



PS. today's post title was brought to you by Nacho libre! LOVE that movie, we hare having a nacho party, hopefully it goes well :) I am also going to attempt to call wyatt "Guero" maybe the name will stick!

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