Sunday, December 19, 2010


My marriage has gone so long without being watered, or paid any attention to for that matter and this is the result of what has happened. A wilted rose exemplifies exactly what I'm feeling. A once beautiful rose, is now withering, and while it has all the potential in the world to be beautiful and amazing, it's closer to dying rather than coming back to life and being vibrant and beautiful. I am so annoyed with life right now, I know that supposedly after today everything would go back to being normal, but I just don't see it happening. we just don't make time to work on our marriage. Wyatt looked so happy in this last picture I posted of him. It's sad to think that he doesn't feel that way. How is he supposed to come back and just pick up where we left? I feel so lonely and so unloved it hurts. I shouldn't have to feel like priority #10 on his list, and at the moment I feel like that, and he admitted that I was probably the last thing on his priority list. He said that after he gets back from New Mexico things will go back to normal but like I mentioned before, its tough. So it would seem as though this is the beginning of the end to "Cindy and Wyatt".



PS. Today's quote was brought to you by Helen on Diary of a Mad Black woman, and I put a picture of Madea on the post because every time I have a hard time with life, I watch "Diary of Mad Black Woman" and it makes me laugh.

P.P.S. I feel the need to list things I am grateful so here goes...

*My heavenly father and him being with me throughout all this chaos. He has stood by me and has consoled me in my times of emotional pain. It's funny how when you read the scriptures you will come across scriptures that you really needed to read such as the following...
"Behold I, Jacob would speak unto you, cindy, Look unto God with firmness of mind,   and pray unto him with exceeding faith and he will console you in your afflictions, and   he will plead your cause." Jacob 3:1
That scripture brings me so much peace and comfort, I will try really hard so that I can be worthy of having this blessing.

*I'm grateful for my family, even though they aren't as close knit as most, they have been with me every step of the way.

*My mom, she really has been the most amazing support to me, trying to make me happy when I have been sad and willing to take me anywhere at anytime, I hope I can be a good enough daughter to bring her some type of happiness.

*My scholarship, Luckily no matter what happens my last semester of college is already paid for, and yes my bachelors isn't exactly in something practical, but I know that the Lord will help me find a job.

*A warm place to sleep- I am SO grateful that my family was close by, can you imagine how much worse this would have been had I been living in another state?! That would have been HORRIBLE

*The Covenants I have made with God. I know that if I work hard to keep my Covenants, the Lord will, no matter what, help me through the hard time. I once heard the term "Cling to your Covenants" and how true that is.

*My new ward- This is the first ward where I feel somewhat at home like I did with the Park 4th Ward. It's actually a spanish branch, but it makes me happy.

*My Health, my health is a HUGE one. At work on Friday this girl came in to rest on the couch because TWO days ago she had had surgery for an ovarian Cyst! OUCH. Despite everything going on God has preserved my health, my ability to walk, see and hear. Life can't be that bad when I have all those gifts, right?

*My ability to find jobs, the Lord has blessed me so much that I always have doors opening to me, Really I do.

I think that's it for right now, there is a lot to be grateful for but this post is WAY long.



No comments:

Post a Comment