Saturday, January 23, 2010

The revolving door that is Pediatrics

I had always thought that my last couple of shifts on Pediatrics would be super SPECIAL, like something out of Grays Anatomy, or house. I pictured my last day being perfect, filled with emotional moments and a good background song as I walked away from my first job ever! I don't know why I thought it would be like that, i think I watch WAY to much television. Or I even expected things to be like the office, you know, everyone takes a moment to say bye to me, there's a little party, and lots of food.
Well... That's not how it played out at ALL! My last shift on Peds, was probably one of the more busy ones. Not to mention I was running low on sleep! ( 3 hours!). I didn't look beautiful and gorgeous like I was planning to. I didn't have a day filled with touching experiences, like "House". The day was definitely emotional, STRESS! When noon hit, we got slammed! I mean the day wasn't SUPER busy, but it sure seemed like it. I was tired and extremely busy! when it got time for me to walk away from my first job EVER! Everyone was busy with patients, or giving/getting report. I mean I have to admit I was slightly disappointed.
One thing that did come true, was TONS of food. Tons of it! we had Carmel popcorn, caramel candy, a huge box of chocolates, a drawer full of candy, and a chocolate cake. Yay, tons of food, that later gave me a BIG stomach ache!
But after looking back on my last day there, it was special,I learned a valuable lesson. Life is like a runaway train, you really can't stop for anything. You've got to enjoy what you have as it whizzes by!The people I worked with touched my lives in so many ways, they have been excellent examples to me and I am so grateful for them. The experiences i have on pediatrics can never be relived. I'm actually really sad I didn't keep a journal, while working there. I'm going to miss it SO much. Already i can hear the fading of the "call light" in my mind. Whenever I drive past the hospital i don't think to myself "Phew! I'm not working today :)". I don't keep track of my phone, waiting to see if I get called in, when I'm on call. Everything is so different, I can't believe that chapter of my life is done. I feel like it just started. I am going the miss Pediatrics and everything it gave me.
The hospital, and all it's staff will continue whizing by as they do their job. I realize now it was silly of me to think that the hospital would slow down so I could have my "ideal perfect day". Pediatrics will always be on the move with something, open 24/7 and 356 days a year. It almost seems like a revolving door, people coming and people going, I was just lucky enough to go through it.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

He gives flowers to everyone

So I just had to write this post, I knew that I would forget my experience if I didn’t. So… about two months ago I was working (In pediatrics) and that day in particular was REALLY hard. I had been busy all day, on my feet, stressed and tired. My shift seemed like it would last an eternity! FINALLY six p.m. came around and it was time for me to head home. I was so tired and grumpy walking away from work. But when I walked to the security desk I noticed these BEAUTIFUL flowers! They were in a really cute tin can looking thing; they were the best flowers I had ever seen! I commented to the person sitting at the desk how beautiful they were, and how good they smelt! She told me I could have them, so I took them! I was so happy! Suddenly my horrible day was brightened, I thought to myself that surely the Lord wanted ME to have those flowers!
Walking out of the hospital to Wyatt’s car, I was sort of stuck behind someone. This woman in a wheel chair was taking FOREVER! I grew very impatient with her, she was in the middle of the door to go outside. (I know that sounds really mean of me, but its exactly what I was thinking) When I finally got close enough to pass her I realized that she smelt bad too! “EW” I thought (not that I smelt that much better, a day with sick children) She looked like she hadn’t taken a shower in weeks! I was so bothered by her! Finally I was able to pass her. As I did she lifted up her head and said “Oh.. What beautiful flowers” and as I was walking away in a hurry I said “Thanks!” I could see Wyatt sitting in the car and was excited to tell him about my flowers.
Suddenly I felt in my heart that I should give her the flowers. I felt the Holy Ghost tell me that the woman really needed those flowers more than me. I was enraged! I was angry! I thought that the Lord was giving ME those flowers because I had had a BAD day, why did she deserve them -I thought! I was getting closer to the door when I felt that feeling again.
Finally after having an internal struggle, I turned around and offered the woman the flowers. I didn’t know her name, I didn’t ask it, I just turned around and said “Do you want these flowers?” I was secretly hoping she would say no. To my dismay she said “Oh yes! I would really love them, they are beautiful!” so I handed them to her, my heart sinking. When I turned around to leave I noticed tears running down her face.
She told me about how she lived in the rest home across the street. She sobbed even more telling me that none of her children had come to see her in over a year, not even called her. She told me how depressed she had been, she didn’t want to live anymore. For weeks she had been praying for a sign from the Lord, that he cared. That he loved her. I watched as this elderly woman cried and sobbed, it broke my heart. She said “ These flowers are the answer to my prayers, I know it. You are an angel sent from God, you have such a good heart to give me these flowers. I know now that God loves me, because he sent me these beautiful flowers, through a complete stranger. He knew that no one I knew would give me flowers, so he sent them through you, an angel”
My heart broke into a thousand pieces. Here I was today, so selfish, careless. Here this woman was needing a loving word, and I didn’t even want to talk to her, nor even ask her how she was doing. I was no angel, just a BIG brat. As I walked to the car I was crying so hard I could barely see, I was so blurry. When I got to the car, he asked why I had given those flowers away, and I told him the story. Relieved and confused he said “ I sent you flowers to work today, roses, I felt like you needed them today, I was worried you gave the flowers I had given you away… but if those aren’t the flowers that I gave you, where are they?”
It turned out that the floral shop forgot to deliver the roses to me at work; we drove over to the floral shop. Wyatt went inside, and came out with a beautiful bouquet of roses. Purple, Pink, red and white roses. They were far more beautiful than the roses I had given to the elderly woman.
I couldn’t help but cry more. I didn’t want to give the woman the flowers I had earlier. I couldn’t believe the Lord was asking me to give MY flowers up. I couldn’t believe what a grand lesson I learned that day. The lord asked me to give up the flowers that I had, but he had a far BETTER bouquet of flowers waiting for me. He made it up to me. He never asked me to give them up, just trade them for better ones. Still when I think of this story it makes me cry a little.
The Lord’s love for his children amazes me. Here was this elderly woman, a woman I didn’t even care for, and apparently no one else. But yet, to show he cared, he sent her flowers. What a beautiful gift to give someone in need. He gave me BETTER flowers later, from a loving husband.
I am SO grateful for my family, for my amazing husband, who thought to give me flowers. I am the luckiest girl in the world, and will be for all time and eternity.